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The thermometer says 10 degrees below zero and the wind is howling like a pack of wolves as it drives the wind chill to minus 30.  According to the weather man, by morning it will be snowing as well but tonight I am warm, huddled in my chair, under a quilt and a rather large dog and digging through a box of tiny miracles the UPS man brought me.

 Yes, the garden seeds have arrived.

It might not look like planting time outside but believe me, it is nearly time to start my tomato plants. Now, if you remember a post I wrote last spring titled ‘It’s a Tomato Jungle’ you might also remember that I have a slight ‘problem’ when it comes to tomatoes.  In fact I will admit I have several problems when it comes to tomatoes.  But do not fear, for this year I have vowed to break my addiction to tomato seedlings in the dead of winter.

This year I will go cold turkey.

This year I will wait until February 15th before planting the first seed.

And this year, I promise, I will only plant as many tomatoes as I have room for in the garden.

I have also pledged that if, by chance, a few ‘extra’ seeds dare to sprout in my presence I will be heart-less, cold-blooded and cruel. I will rip their frail little roots from their cozy potting soil homes and, ignoring their screams of protest, I will cast them off, not even entertaining the thought of tucking them into another pot of their very own.  No, I will not do it!!!

I will be strong this year and I will show no mercy.  My potting bench will be a veritable House of Horrors for the weak, spindly plants which fail to thrive.  They will be tossed to the top of the compost heap without a second thought to make room for the large, beefy plants with stems like tree trunks and leaves the size of my hand.

This year I will garden like a professional – not the lily-livered plant lover that I have always been!

And because of this new attitude my garden will glow with health.  All who walk the grounds will move slowly,  heads bowed in silent reverence, their lips trembling as they fight back tears of pure rapture at the beauty laid out before them.  Tomato plants will stand tall, stretching for the heavens like Jack’s magical bean stalk.  Blossom end rot will not dare to rear its ugly head! Perfect straight rows of beans, peppers, beets, lettuce and corn will be heavy with a harvest beyond compare.  Squash, pumpkins and gourd vines will sprawl in their designated areas, content with the patch of ground I have staked out for them.  And they will produce thousands of orange, tan and white globes – each one perfectly round and roughly the size of  Volkswagens.   

And the people will come.  They will stop before my Farmers Market stand, riveted by the wonders before them.  Unable to stop themselves they will drop to their knees on the cold, hard pavement as if it were the shrine of the Holy Grail instead of a humble vegetable stand.

Yes, I can see it in my mind. The heaven’s will part and golden rays of sunshine will flow down upon the garden’s gentle slopes. Butterflies and bees will dance above the blossoms and all God’s creatures will gaze in awe from a distance, unwilling to enter this garden of Eden less they mar its beauty.  Abundant rain and humus rich loamy soil will nurture the vibrant green plants and all will be right in the world…

As I breath in the promise of a new garden packaged neatly in the plain brown cardboard box before me, a sigh escapes my lips. The dog snuggled at my feet, looks up.  His chocolate-brown eyes brimming with loving adoration for me – his master.  As our eyes lock, for a brief instant, the pathway is open – his gaze reaches to the very core of my soul and he knows the depths of my desire.  As countless dogs before him he sees my dreams laid bare and he knows the truth…

Then with one furry eyebrow cocked he snorts in disdain, as if to say,

 “Yeah, right! That ain’t gonna happen!”

He rolls his eyes.  His head drops to the quilt.  He stretches out, taking more than his share of the chair and quilt and with a final yawn his eyes close in sleep.

Damn dog! 

He knows me too well.

 

Hope he enjoys sleeping on the porch tonight!

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Winter – Yikes!!!!!!!!!

OK…  it’s official.

I’ve had just about all the winter fun I can stand!

We have snow.  We have lots of snow and it keeps drifting back and forth.  Every day it’s stacked up in a new spot.  The snow can’t seem to decide where it wants to be.  I think snow likes to check out several spots before it decides to stay put.   It’s a theory I have.

Monday night after work I got stuck in our driveway – in the snow that had drifted – with my 3/4 ton, 4 wheel drive pickup –  on a cold and windy evening a half a mile from my house – I got stuck!

Here’s my ride when it’s not stuck in the snow.

I didn’t have a shovel or my Carhart coveralls or my snowboots or a hat or a decent pair of gloves.  And the worst thing was that my husband wasn’t home to dig me out.  Wahhhh!!!

So…  I cussed a little and then I walked through the herd of cows to the house, put on my coveralls, a hat, gloves and my snow boots.  I found a shovel and walked back to my pickup.  By then it was getting dark but I spent a half hour digging the truck out anyway.  I drove it about 5 feet and got stuck again!

So…  I cussed some more, then I dug some more and this time when I got the pickup moving I turned off the driveway and cut across the pasture where you could almost see a patch of bare ground once in a while if you really looked.  I followed a cow path, bounced over several frozen cow pies, hit the gas (or in this case – the diesel fuel) and finally made it to the house.

Life is an adventure – go ahead and live it!

That was Monday night.  Tuesday night I made it home just fine because Hubby had been out plowing snow all day but as we were finishing supper the phone rang – the neighbor lady was stuck and her vehicle was stuck a lot deeper than mine had been.  Hubby fired up the road grader and went to plow as close as he could.  He plowed up one side of her vehicle and down the other, leaving her cute little SUV in an island of snow.   I came with the pickup to help too.  He plowed, we shoveled and then we jump-started her vehicle because the battery was dead by then and finally we chained it to the back of the road grader and pulled her out. 

She was very happy to be on her way.

That’s the way things have been going around here.  The scary part is it continues to snow.  It just keeps coming along with the freezing rains, ground blizzards, drifting snow and frigid arctic temperatures.  You just have to love life in the midwest. 

But if you don’t like the weather just wait 5 minutes and it will change.

I keep telling myself spring is just around the corner – it has to be!

I’ve had just about all the winter fun I can stand.

And from the looks of it, these deer have too.  They’ve decided to spend the rest of the winter right here, in the stack yard out of the wind with all these lovely hay bales.

Pretty smart critters – aren’t they?

 

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