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“You should never complain about your problems.

Half the people don’t care and the other half

are glad to hear you’ve got them.”

 

 

When I think about this weird but worthy quote I am amazed at how many times I have used it in my life!

It’s appropriate for a variety of occassions and it’s impressive how fast it shuts down a complainer. 

It even works on whiney children – unless they’re too young to understand.

‘What?”

Picture it – you’re walking down the street, late for an appointment, with your arms full of bags and a crabby child in tow.  You run into an old family friend and out of habit you ask,

“How are you doing?”

You didn’t mean it.  The words just popped out.  You don’t have the time or the energy to listen to every detail of every problem they have – sick dog, flat tire, money troubles, leaky roof, kids in jail, Grandma on the sauce and then there’s the worst one – the one problem I dread the most – health issues.

Some people are experts at this one.  They wait for such an occasion and it’s scarry how it can mess with your mind.  There are times when I’ve come away from an especailly graphic discuission with every symptom they have just discribed, even when I was feeling great just 15 minutes before.   And it doesn’t matter what they have – a head cold or hemmorodes they’ll tell you things that would shock their own mother. 

This type of thing happens to me a lot.  My husband always says I should have been a bartender.  I must admit, a detailed account of a vasecamy was possibly the worst I’ve ever been through.  Believe it or not, I actually had a guy do this to me when I worked as a teller in the local bank.  Talk about no where to run.  I mean really – how do you respond to this?  Ask to see his scar? 

I think not.

And what about the ones who tell all at the dinner table? 

You’re sitting in a nice restaurant.  You’re food has just arrived when someone pulls up a chair and starts to tell you about the worst flu they ever had.  It’s amazing they survived at all with the aches, pains, fever, rash, projectile vomitting and chronic diareaha they endured.

Butterscotch pudding anyone? 

I didn’t think so.

So the next time it happens to you, remember this little quote. 

Say it, then walk away leaving them to wonder which kind of person you are – the one that doesn’t care or the one who’s glad they have it.

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Occasionally I come across quotes that are so worthy – so enlightening –  sooooooo profound that I have the uncontrollable urge to share this wisdom with all of mankind, thereby making the world a better place.

Hey, I do what I can.

The first quote I would like to share was spoken to me by a favorite family friend named Trapper.

The year was 1989.  My husband and I had just brought home our newborn son and Trapper, being a good friend, came to pay homage to the new heir of the family empire. 

Standing there, holding the joy of our lives in his strong, capable and calloused hands Trapper looked down into the face of innocence. 

I gazed on, wrapped in the golden glow of the miracle of life and suddenly at peace with the world. 

 Our precious baby boy was mesmerized by this man and he smiled up into the weathered face of the stranger, cooing in delight as he promptly

 ‘broke wind’ and filled his tiny diaper.

I doubt that I will ever see Trapper at a loss for words and this was no exception.  Somehow he always knows the perfect response to any situation (although his wife would probably disagree). 

Like a divine prophecy dropped from the heavens above, these are the words he spoke:

“A farting horse will never tire,  And a farting man’s the man to hire.”

Now let me begin by saying Trapper is a cowboy.  From the crown of his 30X beaver hat to the tips of his high-topped, hand-stitched, pointy-toed boots, he was born a cowboy and will always be a cowboy and I truly believe that someday someone will find his cold, dead carcass still upright in the saddle, refusing to fall off a horse even in death. 

Now some people might have been appalled at these words.  Some may have been insulted, but coming from a man like Trapper I knew this was high praise and when he said his goodbyes I ran for the baby book and quickly jotted down this profound quote, immortalizing the words for all time.

So the next time your trapped in an awkward situation and at a loss for words, just remember this simple quote and you will be forever known as the fascinating, witty life of the party, just like our buddy Trapper.

This isn’t Trapper but it is one of my favorite photos of DJ and his Great Grandfather Russell who farmed and ranched in South Dakota most of his life. 

Miss you Grandpa!

 

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