Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘mud’

I love living on a ranch.  Sure, there are tough times when the wind howls and the snow blows for days and you think winter will never end.  But then suddenly, one day it does and the snow melts and the landscape is covered with a thick layer of mud that will suck your vehicle into the ditch faster than you can say “Holy mud-suckers, Batman!” 

But I wouldn’t want to live anywhere els – especially in the spring when you have pastures full of these adorable, sweet, precious babies running around.  Just check out that face – doesn’t he look like a little, mini bull?

 “Howdy.  My name is 53.  I’m named after my momma even though I look more like my good-for-nothin old man.  I like to drink milk and run wild in the pasture with the other claves.  We play hard every night and then sleep all day – curled up like a field full of fuzzy black rocks.  I am suspicious of everything and everybody that shows up and if you get too close I will kick you in the knee caps till you fall to the ground in agony.  Since Dad left us for greener pastures, I’m the man of the family and I won’t let you mess with Mom no matter what you think.  So just get back into your pickup and leave before I bust a cap on you.”

“OK – you think I’m kidding just because I have this ‘cow-lick’ on the top of my nose?  I’m serious – you better just git.”

 

All right, already. I’m going.  Geese!  What a lot of attitude for such a little calf.

Who’s our next baby?

“Yo, Dude…  My name is 45.  Mom and I like to bust down muddy roads, flinging mud and generally causing mayhem.  Sometimes if we just stand here and refuse to move we can force the red pickup to try to drive around us.  Most of the time it gets sucked into the ditch by all this bitchin’ mud and then I learn lots of new sentence-enhancing words from the ranch lady.  You should see the mud fly then!  Hoo-eee!  I love mud!  Mom’s been doing this for years and she never gets tired of it.  It’s totally radical, dude.”

 

And then we have this sweet little lady.

“Greetings.  My name is 23 – even though you can’t read my ear tag because that demented cowboy put it in upside down.  Can you believe it?  Now I look like an idiot just because he got a little flustered when Mother chased him around the 4 wheeled transportation device 3 times and threatened to stomp him into the ground.  Mother means well but she can be a little over zealous at times.  She did get close enough once to blow snot all over his backside so when he finally jumped on the small 4 wheeled vehicle he nearly slid off the other side of the plastic seat – it was very humorous!!!”

“The ranch lady likes to take lots of pictures of me – of course she never steps out of her pickup unless Mother is a looooooong way from us.  The ranch lady is nice but I have to admit she is a little strange.  She calls me her ‘wittle-bitty-milky-chocolate-baby-cow’. ” 

“She appears to have a speech impediment.”

Now, I’m no Doctor Freud but I think she must be suffering from a postpartum psychosis caused by the separation anxiety of the natural growth patterns and subsequent abandonment of her own offspring.  I would really like to get her under hypnosis and delve into her inner psyche  but Mom always says the same thing:   “Don’t waste your time.  Every rancher I ever met was flipping nuts!”   

“I would tend to agree.”

 

And then there’s this little guy.

“Mom!  Have you seen my Mom?  I just woke up and she was gone.  MOM!!!”

 

I love spring!

Read Full Post »

Most people think that cattle don’t have a sense of humor and if you’ve ever had one try to run you down and stomp you into the ground you would probably tend to agree with them.  But I know for a fact that cattle like a good laugh as well as we do and believe it or not, I have photographic proof.

Late yesterday afternoon I was sitting at the computer when I happened to look out the window. 

This is what I saw.

I saw cows.

Well, of course I saw cows – but look at these cows.  What has made them stop in their tracks with their heads up, ears forward?  Something has totally caught their attention.  What could it be?  What would make a bunch of cattle stop to gaze in wonder like this – totally enthralled to the point that all eyes were glued to the spectacle before them?

Perhaps it’s the first calf of the season, a new baby born in the beginnings of the next big storm? 

No…  It’s not a baby.

Perhaps there’s a coyote or wolf stalking the herd and the cattle are frozen in fear?

No…  It’s not danger.

Perhaps it’s Hubby with a hay bale and they are waiting to see where he will drop it so they can pounce like a flock of vultures on fresh road kill?

No…  It’s not vultures on road kill.

This is what they were watching.

It’s Hubby in the pickup, but why would they stop and stare?  They’ve seen this pickup hundreds of times.

  They stopped to stare because there are things you can’t see from these photos.

Things like a roaring engine and tires spinning, and mud being flung out behind him because this is spring at the ranch and there is mud under that beautiful white snow that (just for a moment) he forgot was there. 

The cows saw and heard all that – they had a front row seat and although you can’t see it, they are laughing their heads off!  You can’t see that because cows are very good at hiding their laughter but believe me if it wasn’t wet and muddy they would be rolling on the ground unable to control themselves. 

(No, not really but it’s fun to imagine!)

What do you suppose is going through their minds?

“Ha!  Look at that crazy rancher trying to drive across the pasture.”

“What a nut – my feet are sunk 6″ in the mud and he’s out here with the pickup.”

“What was he thinking?”

“Ha, Ha, Ha!  He wasn’t”

“He’s gonna get stuck!!!”

“No way, the snow’s not that deep.”

“Yeh, but it’s the mud underneath that’s gonna get him.”

“Ha, Ha, Ha!”

“No way – he’s got 4-wheel drive.”

“Yeh, just watch, you can really bury a truck deep with 4-wheel drive.” 

“Ha, Ha, Ha!”

“He’ll have to get the loader to pull that one out!”

“Give her Hell, Ranch Boy!!!”

“I bet you a ton of alfalfa cake he’s stuck.”

“Ha, Ha, Ha!”

“As soon as he stops, I’ll race you to the truck!”

“I want to hear what he says!”

“I want to see his face!”

“I want to see what’s in that barrel in the back.”

“He’s got a barrel in the back?!!!”

“Yep, I bet it’s full of cake… or maybe even corn.”

“Corn…”

“No way – we haven’t had corn since we snuck into her garden last year and ate it off the stalks!”

“Dang, that was good.  I’d sure like some more.”

“And maybe some more of those fancy French green beans too.”

“Green Beans…”

“I bet they keep all that stuff in the barrel.”

“Really???”

“Steady girls, he’s still moving.”

“Give it up, Ranch Boy!”

“Come on Mud!!!”

“Darn, he’s back on the road.”

 

“No corn???”

 

“No green beans???”

 

“No way!”

 

“I really, really hate 4-wheel drive.”

 

 

 

Read Full Post »

Technically, we live in a region known as high-plains arid desert.

Honest, I read it somewhere.

Some years we dream of rain… 

Some years we beg for rain…

And on the rare occasion that the skies open up and it does rain,

we dance naked in the front yard!!!

Not really – but you never know when the mood might strike you.

 Our grasses grow short but they are full of nutrients and even though it doesn’t look lush like this very often – cattle and horses are able to grow fat at our ranch.

Mostly, we live in a dry, dry place.

And with that in mind I would like to show you the following photos of our sons’ old Ranger pickup. 

These images may be disturbing to some so please proceed with caution.

Only my baby could find a puddle this size around here.

Such a sad, sad truck.

And what’s with that bone in the water?   It looks like a cow bone.

Bossy, is that you?

If he’s not driving through mud in his pickup

he’s tearing through it on his dirt bike.

My baby loves mud…

He lives for it.

Read Full Post »